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I just took a journey that I cannot even believe I allowed myself to take.  I went to a place that I told myself I would never go again.  I allowed myself to be manipulated and used by someone who didn't care about me or my feelings.  Why?  Because I have a wounded heart. I have a heart that is very much in need of healing.  I have lived on this earth for 47 years and have never really known what is like to be loved and cherished by an earthly man.   I was not raised by a Dad who was emotionally available.  My Dad lived in my home for only 9 years of my life and was mostly absent after he left, I did not know what it felt like to have a man around.  I rarely had the experience of peering into my Dad's eyes to see that sparkle of approval.  Mostly what I saw was a look of disappointment and anger, as if his own failure as a man was staring back at him everytime I messed up.  Messing up was just a normal thing to do, after all I was only a child learning the ways of life.  I didn